Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
