you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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