Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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