i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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