And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
