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It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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