it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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