he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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