I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
