yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
