it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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