Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
