I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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