Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''

Fav 25 1083 1948
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(208): View more from Idaho

all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.

Fav 32 3565 1592
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(773): View more from Illinois

Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

Fav 6 3833 948
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(404): View more from Georgia

boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.

Fav 6 1371 3601
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(804): View more from Virginia

there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!

(1-804): View more from Virginia

Wait are they playing beer pong to?

Fav 13 5030 1481
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(702): View more from Nevada

Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.

Fav 26 2256 16879
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night

Fav 30 2682 1605
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(214): View more from Texas

Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.

Fav 3 828 469
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(912): View more from Georgia

No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.

Fav 2 199 81
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