It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
