My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You pole danced in your parka.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
