dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
