I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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