no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
