Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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