I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
