Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
