drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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