Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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