Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
