if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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