well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
that's an acceptable place to lick
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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