Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This girl is more easily done than said...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
