They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Randomize
