We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
