So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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