I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
