We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
