Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
