I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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