when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
