btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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