Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
