The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
