I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is her dick bigger than yours?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
