I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
