Im at strip club and am horny
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
