I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
