Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
