Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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