I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
vagina is talking i cant
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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