He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
