i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I need a beard to bite.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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