Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
