i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize