...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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