judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize