We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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