I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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