I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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