Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
