Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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