I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize