The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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