he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
