I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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