Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
