I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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