dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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